Over recent years, people have become fed up with making the same resolutions over and over again without successfully completing them each year. It’s about time! After all, if your spouse can’t change you, what makes you think you can?
On one hand, a growing trend is making resolutions that are seemingly more achievable. On the other hand are those who just want to make the most bizarre and crazy resolutions, meaning they’ve pretty much given up even beginning to try something reasonable again!Check out these resolutions from the past made by the famous and not so famous. Just remember, if you say it in public, or Tweet it, expect everyone to hear it (or read it online).
David Spade– “My new year’s resolution was to start smoking. One day in and I already stopped”
Pete Holmes– “Forgot to make resolutions? Just write out everything you did last night and at the beginning add the word ‘stop.’
Jim Gaffigan– “My New Year’s resolution is to be less prefect.”
Jamie Kilstein– “New year’s resolution is to stop crying at google commercials.”
Rainn Wilson– “My New Year’s Resolution is to spend less time interacting with people & more time with my phone. Doing pretty well so far.”
Mark Twain– “Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.”
Joey Adams– “May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.”
Jay Leno– “Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average, which means you have met your New Year’s resolution.”
Catherine O’Hara– “I know. I’m lazy. But I made myself a New Year’s resolution that I would write myself something really special. Which means I have ’til December, right?”
James Agate– “New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.”
Alfred Lord Tennyson– “Ring out the false, ring in the true.”
Colin Quinn– “New Year’s Resolution. This year I’m going to incorporate ‘I don’t roll that way’ into at least one conversation a week.”
Andre Gide– “But can one still make resolutions when one is over forty? I live according to twenty-year-old habits.”
Greg Tamblyn– “My new year’s resolution is not to shovel snow. Since I’m gonna be in Florida, I feel pretty good about it.”
Melanie White– “This New Year’s I was going to make a resolution never to be late again, but I didn’t wake up until January 2nd. So I decided it would be to win the lottery. That way, if I can’t keep my resolution, I can at least blame someone else.”
Here are some other fun New Year’s Resolutions we found across the web:
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