Money Myth: Good Parents Prioritize Their Children’s College Savings Over Retirement

Last updated 03/27/2025 by

Summary:

Many parents believe that putting their child’s college fund first is the most responsible thing to do—but it’s a costly myth. Prioritizing retirement isn’t selfish; it’s a smart, long-term gift to your kids and your future.

It might feel counterintuitive—even controversial—but one of the best ways to support your kids financially is to take care of your own retirement first.

As a certified financial planner, I’ve seen it too often: parents raiding their 401(k)s, putting off retirement contributions, or draining savings to fund college costs. It comes from a place of love, no doubt—but it often backfires. The hard truth? There are loans, scholarships, and other resources for college. Not so much for retirement.

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The myth: Good parents put college savings ahead of retirement

From the moment your child is born, you want to give them every opportunity. So, when the tuition bills start looming, it can feel wrong—almost neglectful—not to throw everything you have into their college fund.

But here’s the problem: when parents prioritize education savings over retirement, they may end up without enough to retire—and their children could end up supporting them financially later. That’s not exactly the legacy most parents dream of.

It’s not bad parenting to focus on your future. In fact, it may be the most responsible financial decision you can make for your entire family.

The truth: Your kids can borrow for college— you can’t borrow for retirement

Let’s get real: college is expensive. But so is retirement—and it lasts a lot longer. A student can apply for loans, grants, scholarships, work-study programs, and even attend community college or in-state schools to cut costs. Parents, on the other hand, have very few options if they come up short in retirement.

Once you hit your 60s, time is no longer on your side. You can’t take out a “retirement loan,” and catching up becomes extremely difficult. What’s worse, your financial insecurity can become a burden for your adult children, defeating the very reason you sacrificed in the first place.

The real cost of neglecting your retirement

Delaying retirement savings to prioritize college funding can carry significant long-term costs. The power of compound interest makes early retirement savings particularly valuable. For example, saving just $200 per month for 20 years at a conservative 7% annual return results in over $100,000. Waiting even five years can reduce this substantially.

Beyond numbers, neglecting retirement savings means potentially sacrificing your quality of life later. It may limit your ability to retire comfortably, impacting everything from health care choices to leisure activities and even the option of retiring at a desirable age.

Additionally, failing to adequately save could force you to rely financially on your adult children, creating potential emotional strain and family tension.

How does it work?

This doesn’t mean ignoring college savings entirely. It means finding a balanced approach—and being strategic. Focus first on maxing out retirement contributions, especially if your employer offers a match. Once you’re on track, you can put additional funds into a 529 plan or education savings account.
You can also help your kids prepare without derailing your future:

Teach financial literacy: Help them understand budgeting, saving, and how student loans work.
Encourage affordable options: Community college, in-state schools, and scholarships can dramatically cut costs.
Explore flexible college aid:FAFSA, merit-based aid, and work-study can fill the gap without sacrificing retirement goals.

Start with retirement, then fund college if you can

Think of your retirement savings like putting on your oxygen mask first. If you’re financially secure, you’re in a much better position to support your children later—whether that’s helping with tuition, co-signing a loan, or just not needing their financial support when you’re older.
It may feel like you’re choosing yourself over your kids—but you’re really choosing long-term stability for your entire family.

Practical strategies for parents

Balancing retirement and college savings involves a strategic approach:

Prioritize retirement: Ensure you meet retirement savings goals first, then allocate additional resources toward college savings.
Consider flexible savings options: Accounts like Roth IRAs offer dual advantages—they serve as retirement accounts, but contributions can also be withdrawn penalty-free for qualified educational expenses.
Automate savings: Automate monthly contributions to your retirement accounts to consistently reach your goals without compromising financial discipline.
Open family conversations: Engage your children early in conversations about college funding, realistic expectations, and financial responsibilities. These discussions can set clear expectations and help your family collaboratively manage education costs effectively.

Different ways to finance a college education

Unlike retirement, college expenses come with various funding alternatives that reduce the burden on parents:

Scholarships and grants: Billions of dollars go unclaimed annually. Encourage your child to actively seek opportunities.
Work-Study programs: These provide meaningful work experience while offsetting education costs.
Federal and private loans: Reasonable interest rates and flexible repayment terms are widely available.
Community college: Attending a local community college before transferring to a four-year institution significantly reduces total education costs.
Employer tuition reimbursement: Many companies offer tuition assistance, enabling students or working parents to continue their education affordably.

Securing your retirement IS supporting your family

Prioritizing your own future doesn’t mean you love your kids any less—it means you’re looking out for everyone involved. Your children will have decades of earning power, flexible options, and support systems to help fund their education. You won’t have that luxury in retirement.
Make sure you’re not putting your family in a future position where your financial needs overshadow their own goals. It’s not just smart planning—it’s a powerful act of love.

Ready to take action?

Don’t leave your family’s financial future to chance. Take control today by utilizing our retirement calculators and financial planning tools to assess your situation and create a clear savings plan. Explore personalized guidance from our trusted financial experts and get the peace of mind you deserve. Start your journey toward financial security—your family’s future depends on it

Frequently asked questions

Should I stop saving for college altogether?

Not necessarily. It’s about balance. Prioritize your retirement savings first, then contribute what you can to a college fund—without compromising your future.

Is it wrong to ask my kids to take on student loans?

Not at all. Student loans are common and manageable for many students, especially if they choose affordable schools and career-focused programs.

What if I already started a 529 plan?

That’s great! Just be sure it doesn’t come at the expense of your retirement contributions. You can continue funding it, even with small amounts, once your retirement savings are on track.

Can I use retirement funds to pay for college?

It’s possible in some cases, but usually, it is not recommended. Early withdrawals often come with taxes and penalties—and you lose out on compound growth. If you have to tap into a retirement savings account, you are usually better off raiding your Roth IRA (if you have one), since you don’t have to pay taxes or an early withdrawal penalty on contributions.

Key takeaways

There are no loans for retirement—but there are for college
Prioritizing retirement reduces the risk of becoming a financial burden later
There are many ways to help kids afford college without sacrificing your future
Start with your retirement, then help with college costs if you’re able
Smart planning today is a long-term gift to your children

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Andrew Latham

Andrew is the Content Director for SuperMoney, a Certified Financial Planner®, and a Certified Personal Finance Counselor. He loves to geek out on financial data and translate it into actionable insights everyone can understand. His work is often cited by major publications and institutions, such as Forbes, U.S. News, Fox Business, SFGate, Realtor, Deloitte, and Business Insider.

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