If your version of heaven involves retail therapy amidst elevator music sung by angels and a pocket full of unlimited credit, you may be a member of Shopaholics Anonymous. Find out if your photo is in the hallowed halls of the most-likely-to-spend by checking out these 33 signs that you’re a shopaholic.
1. This is how you react when someone mentions the word shopping.
2. You consider shopping a daily workout
Since shopping is a physically demanding sport, you’re not lying when you tell your doctor that you work out a minimum of seven days a week.
3. Shopping isn’t a game, it’s a sport
You firmly believe that shopping is a sport like football, and you suspect that it’s the national sport. After all, what is it that rakes in millions during the Super Bowl? Commercials to buy more stuff, of course!
4. Items show up in your closet you don’t remember buying
Okay, maybe you vaguely remember purchasing that bright purple scarf and those neon orange sandals, but the memory is a bit fuzzy.
Related article: 5 Things in Your Closet You Shouldn’t Be Blowing Money On
5. Many of your purchases are unnecessary, but so what?
Whose business is it anyway that you bought a boat cleaning kit when you don’t have a boat? How do all those naysayers know that you won’t be getting a boat next week?
6. Shoes to match every individual outfit are absolutely mandatory
You want to look your best, don’t you?
7. A walk-in closet is a must-have
Never mind that it’s so stuffed you can no longer actually walk into it. The fact that you have one is all that matters.
8. You have enough price tags attached to unused merchandise…
That you could use them to wallpaper your entire bathroom.
9. The stockpile has it’s own domain
A spare room for stockpiling your purchases is at the top of your list when you shop for a new home or rent another apartment. You already have store-like shelving arranged to be installed. It’s sort of like an extreme couponer’s stockpile, minus the coupons.
10. You’re an expert at rationalizing each and every purchase
Explaining the necessity of owning eight different iPhone cases is a snap for you.
11. Your entryway closet and child’s room serve as overflow sites…
For all that extra carefully chosen merchandise.
12. You easily brush off the haters
You’re a master at ignoring Grandma’s frown of approval and tisk-tisking when she sees your latest new wardrobe.
13. What, no. These aren’t new… No, really!
You find yourself immediately denying it when someone asks if you’re wearing another new pair of shoes. It may be a sign that you’re an addict, and there might be an article on how to stop the overspending habit, but you don’t have to read it.
14. Needs and wants are one and the same
You refuse to fall prey to semantics. You need and want that gorgeous vase for your living room. No reason to debate the meaning of the words!
15. Every day is a rainy day…
That means stocking up on anything and everything, and feeling ultra-virtuous and prepared while doing so!
16. You’ve got 4-5 backup credit cards…
And often find yourself sorting through the stack at Nordstrom’s checkout counter.
17. And they’re all maxed out
Your credit cards tend to be maxed out or nearly maxed out from your spending sprees—but hey, isn’t that what they’re for? After all, they keep increasing your limit!
If you get a few minutes between swiping the plastic, read The 3 Best Credit Cards For People Who Carry A Balance.
18. You’re already showing signs of addiction
Daily shopping of some sort is required to feel perky and at your best. You tend to get quite cranky and anxious if you don’t buy something at least once a day.
19. You are convinced that advertising is an art form
What could be more meaningful or moving than a commercial about a sale at Sears or JC Penney?
20. You get snarly when people suggest that your shopping might be a little out of hand
How dare they bring up the fact that you haven’t paid your share of the rent or mortgage just because you bought a new pair of Manolos and a matching Hermes bag?
21. Life without shopping options is no life at all
The idea of getting stuck out in the middle of nowhere with no shopping possibilities or internet reception sounds like pure torture. To those poor souls living out in rural Anytown, USA, you’re praying for them.
22. You reminisce about your first shopping high
You can still remember the first time you bought something and the thrill that zipped through your veins.
23. People in your life drive you to shop
It’s your mom’s fault that you bought your 20th black sweater recently. If she hadn’t been nagging you that day, you probably wouldn’t have found yourself so upset that you had to shop just to calm down.
24. You can spot a fellow shopaholic a mile away
As long as you don’t start fighting over the last lemon-scented candle on the shelf, you’re likely to become fast friends.
25. National Shopping Day = Christmas
If they proposed a national holiday for shoppers, you’d be the first person to sign the petition.
26. First rule of Black Friday…
You’re not proud of yourself, but you have been known to experience altercations with other shoppers on Black Friday. And maybe you got a few swings in…
27. Your money evaporates like water
Money seems to slip effortlessly from your wallet and checking account. You plan on contributing to an emergency fund—right after this shopping season.
28. Non-shoppers don’t know what they’re missing
You are convinced that frugal-minded savers have no idea the nirvana they are missing.
29. Internet has revolutionized the way you shop
The best part about the invention of the internet is the fact that the world has become one giant mall. (And the stores NEVER close!)
30. Dream job: Professional Shopper
Doing what you love and getting paid for it so you can do more of what you love would be a dream come true.
This is a legit, and totally doable job if you’re really interested in becoming a personal shopper. Learn about it in our article about side hustles for the scrappy.
31. The “other” shopping bags are brought in in the dark of night
If anyone is at home when you come back from a shopping binge, you tend to not bring all of the bags in at once. Instead, you sneak back out for the rest in the dead of night when everyone is sleeping.
32. It’s impossible to say no to a bargain
So what if you already bought a set of dishware last month. The one right in front of you is half-off! You’ll invite over a lot of company to use it. Party!
33. You read all the way through this article
Either you recognize yourself or someone you know, you made it all the way to the end. Maybe you’ve nodded to more than a handful of these signs, even recalled yourself taking some of these drastic measures. Whatever your take, we all have at least a little bit of shopaholic in us!